This is the time of year when I, along with I'm sure many others, become very reflective; giving thought to my goals for this year, my accomplishments, my failures, my coulda, woulda, shoulda's! I tend to take stock of many things that have affected my progress or lack thereof. One area of my life that has had a spotlight placed on it is the people that I've allowed into my life in whatever capacity; be it friends, acquaintances, colleagues, anyone that has taken time away from my family and/or me doing what is necessary to become, quite simply, better.
I learned a very long time ago when I first moved to Atlanta, that I will not get any further than where I am or be better than what I am, by waiting on people. You know what I mean! "I'm waiting on such and such so we can move to Atlanta". "I'm waiting on so and so to go visit modeling agencies". The always waiting on someone to do something with or do something "period" before I make a move to do what it is I want to do. I am so glad I've not been a casualty of this way of getting things done! However, I have been a victim of being associated with the wrong people...
The wrong people in that they didn't motivate or inspire me to do better, do more, go after whatever it was I wanted. Those people who may have said, "I've got your back", but really couldn't wait until I turned my back so they could... well you know how that story ends! Or even the ones that were dealing with their own set of challenges and issues; so tell me again how were they going to help me? Not that it's all about ME, but there does come a time when you have to recognize people for who they are and the purpose they serve. Not everyone has the same role in your life, just as you don't have the same role as others in theirs.
There was a time when I was so eager to please and try to make everyone happy. Not that I think that's a bad thing! It's just bad when it puts you in a position of doing something that is not good for you, or adversely affects what it is you're trying to do or accomplish. It's okay to say no and there are times when it's absolutely necessary.
It is a heartbreaking thing to realize that someone that you care so much for and want to have in your life is just toxic. I don't have to go into what I mean by that. You can't seem to be a positive influence in their lives, nor are they one in yours. You find yourself drained after an interaction with them and either feel like you need to seek counseling or just want to crawl into bed and not get up for a few days. It may not be this way each time you're with them or speak with them, but more times than not, this is your story. Although it may hurt, I honestly believe it will hurt worse in the end to stay in such a relationship.
I love that God has blessed me with people who inspire me daily, and who I know truly look out for my best interests. You know the ones that after being around them for a moment have you recharged and ready to face whatever challenges and obstacles are around the corner. I have a few such people in my life and it's funny, when I'm running low on fuel I know that I can call them up and they have me back to optimum working order. The really interesting thing about this is they tell me that I do the same for them, and I honestly don't know how, but I'm awfully glad I do!
Oh my gosh, I hate to admit this, but I have my moments where I am simply not a pleasure to be around! Yes, me! I know that probably comes as a shock to many of you, but yes, I have my days where I'm not the nicest, friendliest, most positive person to be within one-hundred feet of! There are only a limited few who get right down in the trenches with me and stay there until the darkness passes. I would love to call them by name. They know who they are! I so appreciate all they give me, to bring me through, because each time I come out so much better than I was before. These are the people who deserve my time and quite frankly have earned it. Sometimes it's hard to see the forrest for the trees, but when you do it leaves a lasting impression that changes your perspective, your outlook, and your expectations of others that come into your life.
Make it AMAZING!
Rhonda
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